“I trust that person.” “I don’t trust that person.” We often here people make these kind of statements, but if you think about it trust is really a continuum. Your feeling of trust towards someone can increase or decrease. It’s not either-or, it’s a range of feeling. Thinking in terms of how much you trust someone is more helpful; It gives you the sense that you can learn to increase your trust in someone incrementally.
One of the interesting things about trust is that as your feelings of trust for someone changes, your perception about them as a person changes too. So what this implies is that if you change your perception of a person you can learn to increase your feelings of trust towards them – creating better relationships.
The following exercise helps you explore your feelings of trust and dis-trust and provides you with a way to increase your feelings of trust in others.
|Polarities of Trust Exercise
1. Dis-Trust: Think about someone you distrust; Bring to mind a specific occasion when you were with this person, see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel those feelings of dis-trust.
2. Notice where those feelings of dis-trust are in your body; Imagine giving that feeling a colour and then create a circle of that colour beneath your feet.
3. Move away from that space, a few feet to your right.
4. Trust: Think about someone you really trust; Bring to mind a specific occasion when you were with this person, see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel those feelings of trust.
5. Notice where those feelings of trust are in your body; Imagine giving that feeling a colour and then create a circle of that colour beneath your feet.
6. Now step back from both circles so you can see them both there on the floor. Step into the Dis-Trust Circle and feel those feelings. Step back, shake that feeling off and then step into the Trust Circle and notice those feelings.
Do this a few times so you can clearly differentiate the two feelings.
7. Learning to Trust Someone More
Step into the Dis-Trust Circle; Think about someone you would like to trust more. As you picture them in your mind’s eye, look up towards the Trust Colour Circle. Take a step towards the Trust Circle. Notice how that changes your experience. And what happens when you walk fully into the Trust Space? Keep picturing the person while you allow the Trust Colour to permeate your being.
8. How does that change your experience of trust with this person? Could you now perhaps learn to trust them more?
Bonus: Polarity Integration Exercise
When you’ve done the exercise above you can integrate the polarities of Dis-Trust and Trust better with the following method:
1. Step into the space in the middle of the Dis-Trust Circle and the Trust Circle, so that one is on your left and one is on your right.
2. Picture the person you choose in the previous exercise. And now imagine the energy colour of Dis-Trust entering one side of your body, while at the same time the energy colour of Trust entering the other half of your body.
3. Allow these two energy colours to permeate your entire being while you picture the person in your mind’s eye for a few moments.
4. Now turn around 180 degrees; Do the same procedure again but with the energy colours entering into the opposites sides of your body.
5. Step back, shake that state off and now think about that person again and notice what has changed for you.
So by playing around with exercises like those above we can learn how to change our perception of others, increase our feelings of trust, and therefore improve our communication in relationships.