We’re making many decisions throughout the day. Some estimates have it at around 35,000 per day! Of course most of these are just simple little decisions such as ‘shall I have rooibos or builders tea?’
When it comes to setting goals and making decisions about how to achieve them we often find ourselves procrastinating due to internal conflicts and other unconscious aspects that hinder our progress which includes self limiting beliefs.
Typical Self Limiting Beliefs Examples:
- “I’m not good enough”
- “People don’t like me”
- “I’ll be rejected”
- “I’m destined for failure”
- “I can’t be successful”
One of the things that can be holding you back from making clear decisions to move forward is what is known as ‘secondary gain.’ Part of you wants to get going with the new goal but another part gets something out of being ‘where you are now.’ It could be as simple as being ‘in the comfort zone.’
There is an excellent set of questions from the world of coaching and therapy known as ‘Cartesian Questions.’ By answering the questions you will uncover previously hidden factors that stop you from making firm decisions that lead to action towards goal achievement.
So before you answer the following questions pick something to work with – We’ll call it X.
eg) “Become Self Employed,” or “Move Abroad,” or “Earn Twice as Much.”
1) Theorem: What would happen if I did X ?
(This makes you visualise the outcome.)
2) Converse: What wouldn’t happen if I did X ?
(This question uncovers the secondary gains. It helps you identify the benefits of the present behaviour that might be lost once the new outcome is achieved.)
3) Inverse: What would happen if I didn’t X ?
(This question will bring out the pain or cost of continuing with your present behaviour/state.)
4) Non Mirror Image Reverse: What wouldn’t happen if I didn’t X ?
(This question can make you aware of the values and inner forces that were previously hidden.)
NOTE: Question 4 is quite a tricky one! It is designed to access the deeper unconscious parts of the mind. It’s best to just go with your intuition with this one.
If you’ve gone though the questions above you should have discovered some interesting insights into your behaviour. You may now want to re-evaluate your goals and re-do them so they incorporate all the new knowledge you have acquired helping you achieve them more easily.