Sometimes relationships can come to a head over nothing. One day you find each other irresistible and the next you cannot wait to be departed from one another. The complexity of relationships is not lost on most people, with almost half of marriages ending in divorce in the United States following recent trends and reports. A huge proportion of these divorces come from arguments and couples not being able to relax together. This tends to come from severe communications breakdown.
Being unable to find passion when talking to one another, finding that the same things are being said over again and again, running into the same arguments and debates. Does any of this sound familiar? This is a merry-go round that many people find themselves running around constantly.
However, instead of letting these communication problems bring an end to your relationship, why not have ago at answering the following three questions for yourself:
Am I the problem?
Think about the arguments and the debates that you have; What are you arguing about?
Who is usually the one to escalate the events?
If it’s the same thing you are arguing over time and time again, then usually one is the aggressor in bringing it up and the other is on the defensive. This could be anything from one member of the relationship being unhappy at the other to discussions about where you will live.
No matter what side of the camp you are on, you need to consider if your attitude towards the issue is the problem.
Is it a matter that is easily discussed?
Could you both come at the conversation from a different angle that may end in a more positive outcome?
How do they feel?
Imagine putting yourself in the shoes of your other half: How does it feel?
Think about the things that you say or the way that you act in the situations that are causing problems.
How would you react if they acted in the same manner?
You might be totally in the right, but sometimes a period of reflection from the perspective of the other person can be a sobering experience that leads you to see that there could be other ways of resolving these issues.
Do we end in an argument?
How often do you find a resolution to what you are arguing about?
Rather than letting things get out of hand and things getting said that should never have been, try and come to a way of diffusing the argument and bringing it back to a discussion; You might find that you get some actual results this way.
Working together is the only way that you can break down these barriers and sometimes a period of self-reflection on the way you handled things, as well as the way that your partner reacted, can allow you to reach conclusions you may never have come to on your own.