It’s a fascinating part of the human experience; we can feel and behave really resourceful in some situations but feel shut-down in others. This could be due to behavioural conditioning or just bad habit. But the fact is as a human being you can re-learn or re-program your responses to situations. It’s just a matter of accessing the appropriate resourceful states of being within yourself and transferring them into the contexts where you need them.
The following simple exercise will help you to achieve this in the situations you choose:
|1. Think about a situation where you would like to feel more resourceful and have increased behavioural flexibility. e.g.) communicating with a co-worker, interacting with a family member, being on a date etc.
2. What resourceful states of being would help you in this situation? Playfulness, Calmness, Curiosity, Awareness?
3. Now embody this state of being by allowing your hands to express this feeling; simply go ahead and let your hands express this state in whatever way feels best for you. Practice this movement a few times so that you can re-access the resourceful state easily with those hand movements.
4. Now think about the situation you choose in Step 1: What is the first thing you will see or hear just before it would be really beneficial to access the desired resourceful state of mind?
5. As you hold that visual or auditory cue in mind, start doing the “resourceful hand movement.”
6. Do this a few times from Step 4 to anchor in the resourceful state into your subconscious mind.
7. Break State: Think about something totally different; like what did you eat for breakfast or where are you going on holiday?
8. Now think about the situation you choose in Step 1 and notice how you feel about it now.
Bringing more resourcefulness and behavioural flexibility into the different areas of your life will lead to more satisfaction and happiness. Rather than thinking about, “Why am I not able to be resourceful in this situation?”, ask yourself, “How can I be more resourceful in this situation?” and then go one step further by practicing an exercise like the one above because it will help you re-program your automatic responses at the subconscious level.