There are many things that can attract us to somebody – it could be anything from the way they smile to the first time you ever met. Likewise, there are many things that can destroy the way we feel about somebody. Dealing with jealousy in relationships is one of the most common problems people have to face.
If you have never had the urge to check your partners phone log and see just who they were texting earlier, you are very lucky. Sadly this is often the norm these days, as couples feel incredibly insecure about what their other half does. After the initial honeymoon period ceases, some people can start to feel like the relationship is dying and therefore there must be somebody else involved. Dealing with jealousy in a relationship is one of the main steps anybody has to take, in order to feel secure and happy.
The worst thing about jealousy is that it comes from you wanting to protect what you love and hold deeply so much! Not only is it ironic, but it can be corrosive and cause irreparable damage. By being able to see that all you want is the best for your relationship, you can see how jealous behaviour can quickly damage things. When you feel that spying on your partner is doing the best for you both, you are wrong. If you find yourself acting jealous, ask yourself why you actually do this.
You may know, on reflection, that it comes down to a previous experience. Somebody may have hurt you before, or you may have seen it happen enough that you are naturally guarded. It’s important to understand that by treating your other half with distrust and contempt, you are not going to get over these prejudices. If you assume from the first thing you hear or see that they could be cheating on you, or trying to make you jealous, then you need to adapt and change.
The only way to do this, of course, is by actually communicating. Jealousy usually comes out in the form of an immature outburst made up from paranoid thoughts that constantly swirl through your mind. Being able to get these anxieties off your chest in a calm and mature manner is by far and away the best way to deal with jealous behaviour.
Most of us feel that by mentioning our insecurities, we are either opening up too much or we are going to scare the other person away. On the other side of the coin, being extremely guarded and cautious about your time together and what they do when they are not around is not going to help. Jealous behaviour will never win you any favours, that’s for sure, and the sooner you can talk about your feelings and insecurities the better.